Sports Mockery
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by: Jonny Briggs
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Word Count: 552
In recent times we have seen the sporting greats come and go. In Tennis Tim Henman entered the scene and showed England that we did actually have real sportsmen, but then left the scene without achieving his goal of winning Wimbledon. In Rugby Union we saw Martin Johnson and Jonny Wilkinson lead England to win the Rugby World Cup in 2003, but from then on the England team just let us down again and again. Football saw the young David Beckham and the old Paul Gascoigne lead the English Football team to some near misses from 1996 to 2006 but now Beckham is stuck on 99 England caps and Gascoigne ended up in being sectioned. For every sport there have been high points, but unfortunately, there have been far more low points, and I intend to describe some of these disgraces.
First off is Football, the English sport of sports, ‘good old footy’, ‘soccer’, ‘kick ball’ and it’s many other names. It’s a shame it hasn’t lived up to them. At school you worshiped our football heroes but as you got older you saw the sport for its true form… acting. I first started to notice it in the Euro and World Cup tournaments where a ball was kicked to a player waiting to take a corner and he acted (very badly) like it hit him in the head when it missed him completely. Footballers must start off as failed actors and move on from there. So football today is basically an acting career for acting reject, it’s almost as bad as wrestling. They should seriously start spread betting on which teams act the most during games or on the number of over dramatic dives.
On to Rugby, both Rugby League and Rugby Union, Rugby League is the less popular version that takes place mainly in the north of England. It is possibly the better ‘thought out’ version of Rugby and requires more physical fitness but they have made it an international sport, which in itself is fine if there were a reasonable number of teams that took the sport seriously. But there only seems to be three - just three countries in the whole world play the sport professionally, New Zealand, Australia and Great Britain, the latter of which always losing year after year, what is the point? Now Rugby Union has a far bigger international participation level but have you ever watched a game? Watching it just looks like it’s just a collection of dog piles most of the time followed by short lived runs which either involve running straight into the other teams players or scoring the odd try, WHY!? In Rugby League you can see the point in running straight into your opponent as you have to make some ground only having six tackles to do it but in Union, it’s just a way of losing the ball!
Now for the Olympics, an ancient event but one which has had some idiotic additions over the years. Firstly, ‘Beach Volleyball’ was added, which seems a little suspicious as there already was volleyball in the Olympics so why was ‘Beach volleyball’ added other that the fact that Olympics needed ‘sexing up’ and athletic men and women in swimwear was the easiest way to do it.
About the Author
From all these idiot sports, there will probably be a massive market in the future for ‘Stupidity’ Spread Betting and Violent Sports Spread Betting, especially if Sports start to follow the trends of world events.
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